This question seems to be coming up a lot recently on the birdtricks facebook page and other places I visit regularly. I appreciate that people have the good sense to ask, but it’s a very difficult question to answer without knowing the person asking it, without getting a sense of the person or what their lifestyle is. I normally spend more effort trying to talk people out of getting birds than recommending a species to them.

Owning a bird takes a lot of time and work:
Are you up to it? Those of us with birds understand the higher level of care they require compared to our cats and dogs.  Aside from daily cleaning chores that come with having a bird, there are dietary requirements that take more time and thought than just opening a can.  With their great level of intelligence, they need constant mental stimulation.  And being social creatures, they require out of cage time with their flock and family member. Without attention to these details, a bird can easily become aggressive, loud and/or feather destructive. No one will be happy with this outcome, not you, not your bird.
Since no one can answer this question for you, it’s time to take a good look in the mirror and decide what kind of person you are, and how much of yourself you are willing to give to a parrot.  If you are a good, attentive owner, plan on getting up a little earlier for work and making some changes to your social calendar.  This might be tough on a younger new owner.

And a lot of money:
Birds are very long lived pets. They require lots of toys to keep them mentally and physically active.  Store bought toys are expensive, and if they are good toys and you have chosen them well for your parrot, they are promptly destroyed.  This is the point of toys.  Birds require fresh foods everyday, a good brand of pelleted food, some species require seed and nuts, others have specialized diets. You will be spending some time in the kitchen if you are feeding your bird correctly.  A good quality and appropriately sized powder coated cage for a large bird will cost $1000 or more.  This is tough on an owner of any age.

But mostly, a lot of patience and good sense:
It takes a lot of thought to raise a bird to be happy and independent and a welcomed part of the family. Parrots have the knack for throwing curve balls at their owners. Just when you think you’ve got them figured out, they will begin a behavior you’ve never seen before. Or decide they now hate their favorite food, toy or person.  You will learn to explore why your bird does something before you even try to understand how to go about finding a solution to a problem. You will have to know your species of bird well, in both captive and wild settings. After a while, creative thinking will be second nature.  You will learn that it truly takes a village to raise a parrot. You will find the advice and wisdom of those experienced with the type of bird you have selected to be helpful and comforting, and you will seek these people out.
Does this sound like nonsense to you?  Get a fish.

Still want one?
Which bird? To begin with, I don’t believe that there is any species of parrot that should be considered a “beginner bird”. Smaller birds are just as in need of enrichment, good food and love as are the big birds. The only difference is the volume with which they can state a complaint, or the severity of the bite they may issue when you make the mistakes we all did as beginners. If the beak intimidates you, you already know you want a smaller bird.
The very best way to determine which bird is right for you is to talk to someone who has the species you have in mind.  There are sites pertaining to EVERY species on the internet. Google conure, for instance, and you will find more info on the many species of conure than you can process in one sitting.  Go onto the bird forums and ask if anyone has a green cheeked conure because you are thinking about getting one. They will be happy to share info with you about the good, bad and ugly of that species. As your research continues, you might stumble across a bird species you hadn’t considered that would fit nicely into your life.
Know that the traits listed are what is typical of the species.  It doesn’t mean that every bird reads the manual. Some african greys don’t talk, some scarlet macaws aren’t nippy, not all cockatoos need to run the world.
If you decide to rehome your first bird, you should be aware that you are taking on the product of any mistakes or wrong-doings made by previous owners.  Often these birds come baggage, some bags are heavier than others. These birds sometimes need special considerations in terms of patience, and may need a push in the right direction in the areas of diet and socialization.
A lot, if not most, of how your bird turns out has to do with your technique of raising the bird and your willingness to put the time and effort into him. You will have your bird with you for a very long time. Take all the time you need now to choose carefully.

Have you ever just sat and listened to your bird’s calls and tried to figure out what they mean?  Just like babies have different cries meaning: I’m hungry/wet/tired/angry, your bird has a different meaning and a different sound to each of his vocalization.
We all know the shrill, panicked sound of the alarm call.  Often meaning that there’s a fly in the cage or Alex, the evil pool guy, is in the back yard again waving around that net thingy on the the long stick.  Sometimes a hawk has flown past the window, or sometomes a toe is stuck.
Have you listened closely enough to be able to tell the difference between the frustrated scream and the angry scream?  Or the difference between the sun-down calls and the I’m-just-happy-to-be-alive calls?
Linus, my umbrella cockatoo, is remarkable when it comes to independent play.  He will invent a project for himself and spend hours accomplishing it.  For instance, everyday he pulls about 5 feet of his cage cover, which is draped over the back of his cage during the day, into the cage.  He then winds it around the perch several times, and finally, weaves the last 18″ or so of it into the cage bars.  While it’s a complete nightmare trying to free it so I can cover him for the night, I love this about him.  He always finds something challenging to do with his time.

Sometimes, though, he gets his mind set on doing something that is physically impossible, like putting the proverbial square peg in the round hole.  Lately he has been trying to pull the hanging toys from the bars of his cage, without first bothering to undo the quick links.  Ain’t gonna happen, but he tries and tries until eventually I hear his frustrated shouting.  Even though he’s steaming mad at this point, this call is high-pitched and drawn out as opposed to his angry call which is rapid and consistent.  When I hear his frustrated call, I know that, somewhere, there is an uncooperative toy in need of correction.
Linus diligently sounds the sundown call, and sometimes Theo, mu goffins cockatoo, joins in. Even though the entire flock is within ten feet of them, they want to make sure everyone is home for the evening.  My favorite sounds, are the “Oh, what a wonderful world!” calls that come from all of the birds in the mid afternoon.  Linus always adds a playful whoop to his, the cockatiels sing an adaptation of a favorite song that sounds little like the original, and Libby, my quaker, always imitates one of the other bird’s calls with precision, but never her own.
I pay attention to their different range of sounds because it tells me how, or whether, to react. If I hear that Linus is frustrated and it goes on for a while, I will usually intervene and try to direct his attention away from the source of his frustration, or simply remove him, or the toy, from the cage for a bit.  If it is an angry scrream, I leave him alone, because it is directed at me and designed to get my attention, which he will not get in that manner.  I look into his problem once the screaming has stopped.

I know roughly how long each call will last, and can tell if it will escalate, with relatively few surprises.  This sometimes helps me plan my day. For instance, I don’t bother trying to make phone calls in the late afternoon knowing that the long, lazy sun down calls are due. In order to communicate with your parrot, you need to understand what they are trying to say.  Deciphering the intent of their vocalizations is one way.

I learned a long time ago never to look at Linus when I am on the phone.  Being a cockatoo, he believes the sun rises just for him.  He can’t understand why I would talk to an electronic gadget when I have perfectly good cockatoo standing by.  If I look at him, it’s an invitation to join in the conversation.
My daughter called the other day and was telling me about a jacket she had seen in a store window that cost $3500.  She was jokingly asking me if I thought she should take out a loan for it, just as I was passing the cage.  I looked up, and briefly locked eyes with Linus.  “Alright” he says.  Astonished, my daughter says: “WHAT??”  “What WHAT??”, I said.  “You think I should take out that loan?”  “NO!!”  Apparently, Linus sounds a bit like me.  It took a minute to clear up the confusion.
I have a friend with an african grey that like to sit in his cage and have long imaginary phone conversations, in her voice.  He begins by imitating the tones of the phone dialing and goes on the have the most boring phone chat: “Uh huh, uh huh.  Really?  Hmmm.  Okay.  Uh huh…”  It’s really embarassing for my friend who hopes she’s not really that dull.  I find it hilarious, and have suggested that she employ his services when telemarketers call.  Or her mother-in-law.

Dave and Jamie’s rose breasted cockatoo, Bandit, sounds exactly like Jamie.  Listen for it when they post videos.
I have some friends that own an amazon, who favors the husband, but speaks with the wife’s voice.  I was mentioning to them that I thought this was an interesting twist.  They are convinced that it is intentional.  While the husband might not respond to the bird beckoning him, he is unlikely to ignore his wife.
Ironically, I have started sounding like my parrots.  When I leave for work, I make a big production out of saying goodbye to each of my birds individually:  “Bye BYE, Theo.”  “Bye BYE, Tinky”, until I have addressed them all.  Ususally, the last thing I hear when I am walking out the door is a giant “Bye BYE” from Linus.  It’s really cute, but not so much when it slips out when I am leaving my co-workers for the day.  “Bye BYE, Jessica!”  It’s a bird owner thing.  I dropped a pen one day and a little girl picked it up and handed it to me.  I said: “Thank you!  What a good bird.”

Parrots are instinctively highly attuned to everything around them.  It is this awareness of their environment that keeps them safe from predators.  So it’s easy to understand why parrots are so quick to pick up on the energy levels of their owners and the home they live in. This is something we can use to our advantage and is just one more example of how having an understanding of a wild bird’s nature will help us with the birds we keep in our homes.

Have you ever noticed that when you stand in front of your bird and act silly and animated that he will start bouncing up and down on his perch and become vocal?  Have you observed that when you stand quietly and speak to him in quiet tones that he will turn his head to the side and listen intently to your words?

The energy level present in the home is often responsible for the behavior, or misbehavior, of our parrots.  If things have become too chaotic or noisy, sometimes all it takes to restore peace is a quiet chat.

When Linus, my umbrella cockatoo, decides the time is right for his afternoon vocalizations, I can nearly always quiet him by speaking softly to him.  Even when he is in  full-on scream mode, I can generally stop it by standing in front of him and continuing to speak quietly.  He may not be able to hear me over his own loud voice, but he can see me, and I figure he has to come up for air at some point.  My low energy gradually rubs off on him.

On the other side of that coin is instigating play.  For the parrot that tends to be a perch potato, some music and lively dancing and singing on your part might be just the things to get him moving, and exercising.  Sometimes birds are afraid of, or disinterested in, new things.  Since your bird trusts you, your enthusiasm with new things will make him feel comfortable with, and an excitement about, the things you introduce him to.  Once you tell him something is okay, it will be.

Talking to your parrot serves a number of purposes.  For the new parrot in the home, it is trust building.  Your new parrot can learn to feel relaxed with you as you continue to show him that you are a safe playmate.  As his comfort increases, you can begin to show him that you are fun as well.

Talking to your parrot can prepare him for events coming up in the future as well, such as your trip to Europe and his subsequent trip to the boarding facility, or any other big change that is approaching. Tell your parrot that a change is coming, but that it is a temporary arrangement and that everything will be fine.  Assure him that he is loved, and throw in how beautiful and good he is.  The more time you spend talking to him, explaining and reassuring him, the better prepared he will be for your absence.  I realize this sounds silly, and I can already see some eyes rolling, but this really does help, and I don’t know of a single parrot expert who doesn’t agree.  While they don’t understand your words, they will certainly take your tone to heart.  Somehow, this reaffirms your relationship with them and carries them through what might otherwise be a traumatic event.

In every case where a parrot that has the benefit of an owner that takes the time to talk to him, he will  feel included as a member of the household.  This improves your relationship with him, betters his life and will make him more family friendly.

As fun as it is to have a bird that talks, it’s never been high on the list of priorities where mine are concerned.   I am greeted when I get home with an array of “Hi”s and “How Ya Doing”s just enough to make me know I’ve been missed and that’s good enough for me.

However, it seems important to Libby, my adventuresome quaker, that she speak to me in my language, so I encourage it.  She is my breakfast making companion lately.  She sits on my shoulder while I am chopping up their morning meal and chats non-stop in between bites of carrot (which I get to pick out of my hair before I leave for work.)  She mimics everything: the sound of the chopping, the sound of the water running, and is unnervingly accurate at the sound of me swallowing my morning coffee.  She also imitates every vocalization made by the other birds, including the cockatiels’ demanding call that it’s their turn to come out and play, and the cockatoo’s charming sun-down show-down.

My daughter had taught Libby to say “Hello, Little Baby” some time ago.  So when I come home, I will say “Hi, Libby Lu!” and she will respond with: “Hello, Little Baby!” (that’s me).  It makes my heart flutter. It’s become something of a ritual.

I came home from work one day last week and said “Hi, Libby Lu!” as usual, and Libby came back with:  “Hello, Bagel!”  Surprised, I walked up to the cage and said:  “Hello BAGEL??!  Who you callin’ BAGEL??  Oh, I don’t think so…I am NOT answering to BAGEL!”

That’s all it took.  I made the word BAGEL so fun that night that I am now known as Bagel, and it doesn’t give me that same fluffy feeling.  It doesn’t take a genius to see where I blew it.  Many of the mistakes we make with our birds are unintentional, but that doesn’t lessen the results.  I know that over a period of time I can extinguish the word “bagel” simply by not responding to it, since birds don’t hang onto behaviors that have no benefit, but I may have to re-teach the use of “Little Baby”.

In this circumstance, the mistake I made is not a big deal, life will go on even without our cute greeting.  But consider if the wrong message had been sent in a situation where biting was an issue.  If your bird has the habit of lunging at you and you respond in such a way that the bird saw his actions as effective, or even just fun, it is a much longer road home to the cure.

It takes only ONE TIME to throw everything you have worked towards with your bird out of whack.  That first time, your bird is thinking about his future actions:  “Well, that worked.  This biting thing may have possibilities.”  The second mistake will etch it in stone:  “Okay, it has worked twice now.  This is how I will handle things from here on on out.”

I think it’s important that we share the mistakes we make in handling our birds, as innocent as they might be, so that we can all learn from them.

Is the mess, the chores, the feeding, and the constant need for attention starting to get to you?  It’s called burn out, and don’t worry, you aren’t alone. There are some mornings that I get up praying that the cockatoos will find it in their hearts to refrain from their dramatics for just this one day. I often don’t get my wish. Today was my day off and I had a long list of things to accomplish.  As I looked over the list, I couldn’t help but notice that every item pertained to the birds except one.  Guess which one didn’t get done?

I got up and chopped the veggies for breakfast.  I needed to set up new caging for the cockatiels.  While the birds were eating, I took the cage parts to the back yard and cleaned them.  While those were drying, I cleaned everyone else’s cage and washed their grates.  I put the tiels’ cage up and outfitted it, requiring the use of the table saw.  I decided to put the quaker into the cockatiel’s former cage and then needed to outfit it appropriately for her.  I stood back to admire my handiwork and decided that there weren’t enough toys and set about making more.  When I was done cleaning and sweeping the bird room, thinking I was done in that room for the day, Linus tipped his bucket of freshly gnawed wood upside down, spilling half of it onto the floor behind the cage. This is how the day started.  I was tired by noon and still had the rest of the list to get through.  Some day off.

Parrots are hard work, time consuming, and when you add these chores to an already busy life, it can seem overwhelming and never ending.  Even though I know this is what I signed on for when I got birds, sometimes I wonder why I am doing this to myself.

The answer to that question became clear enough when I heard the cockatiels joyously singing in their new cage, and when I peeked in on them, Libby, my quaker was beating up her new toys.  It was a heartwarming sight and sound, and it made me feel so much better about the day and life in general.  THIS is why we do it.  The cuddles, the I love you’s, and the laughter they bring makes everything worthwhile.  Why, then, is it so hard to see on some days?

Here are some thoughts and tips on how to deal with burn out:

• We have all heard about how many people get depressed around the holidays.  I believe it has little to do with the holidays, and everything to do with the winter season.  During the winter, the days get much shorter and we spend a lot more time indoors.  With the lack of sunlight, we can be a bit deficient in vitamin D3, something which many companion birds suffer from. This can bring on depression.  Try adding a D3 supplement to your diet.
• If you are cleaning your cages regularly, it isn’t going to harm your birds to skip it for the day.  Instead, get a cup of tea, put your feet up and read a book.  Even better, get your bird out and have fun with her or a have good cuddle session.  Do those things that remind of why you have a parrot in your life in the first place.  It’ll do you both a world of good.
• Rearrange your furniture.  If your cage positioning doesn’t allow for this in the living room, change the bedroom.  This is what I do when things are seeming too routine for me.  It’s amazing how such a change can improve your outlook on life.
• Since you are logged onto this site, I know that your bird means a great deal to you.  Recognize that your bird’s need for your attention means that you are important to him too.  Birds are inquisitive by nature and need to explore everything around it.  So it just happens that a naughty bird is a happy bird, and a happy bird is a healthy bird.  Try to keep this thought when you’re sure you are losing your mind.
• Seek the support of someone who understands.  Heaven knows most people think we are crazy for going to the lengths we go to for our parrots.  (You spent how much for a birdcage??  You cook for your bird??)  There are a lot of us out there.  Go online and find a forum to unload on.  The bird store I frequented in Austin to get my supplies came to know me well.  Sometimes I would go in with a bandage on my hand or a look on my face.  They would say:  “Uh oh.  Someone’s in trouble at your house!”  It helped to have someone to talk to.
• You might even consider a get-away for yourself, or a send-away for the birds. If you have a pet sitter or a boarding facility that you trust, sometimes a little time apart can do wonders.  At the very least, treat yourself to a night out.  You’ve earned it.

It is okay to feel like you’ve had enough.  Don’t beat yourself up or feel like a bad bird owner because it all gets to you sometimes.  Just like with children, we can sometimes get to that point.  Keep a cool head and maybe a little distance from the birds while you sort through it.  Somehow it all magically works out in the end.