Love Birds

Bond With Your Significant Other Through Your Birds

Previously I wrote about bonding with family by having a separate bird for each member. This article is a bit of a personal story about bonding with my girlfriend, Kathleen, while also having a great time with our birds. Perhaps this will help you spend more time and your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, friends, or family as well as your birds by making it a conjoined effort.

Originally I had my Senegal Parrot, Kili. Unfortunately, Kathleen was not taking much interest in the bird and did not handle it much. She was afraid of being bit and did not know how to handle the parrot. Once in a while she might cue a trick but there was no real connection. Also it almost felt like the parrot was getting between me and my girlfriend because several times a day I would try to spend time with my bird, clean, and train it. Also, Kathleen was getting between me and Kili which would drive Kili’s jealousy and aggression toward Kathleen.

At first I tried to involved Kathleen with Kili more but it did not really work too well because Kathleen is scared of getting bitten and did not want to have to do extra chores like cage cleaning for a bird that wasn’t even hers. I did try to get Kathleen more involved but the distinction of Kili being my bird was more obvious than just my responsibility for her, she also is clearly bonded to me and doesn’t like being handled by others. While I could see Kathleen’s subtle interest in parrots and parrot training, I could also see her disappointment and distance when it came to my bird.

So I tried a different idea. I took Kathleen to the bird store and let her pick out a bird. We were in no way prepared to commit to a large or noisy bird at the time. You see Kathleen is away for weekdays and visits me on weekends most of the year but lives the summers with me, this is why I could not allow her to have an overly demanding bird because I would have to be taking care of it half the time. Naturally the bird would have to be smaller than a Senegal Parrot and cheaper too. I could not afford another bird like that and there was really no need. To help Kathleen overcome her fear of birds, something small and cuddly was the answer. So it came down to getting a budgerigar.

Kathleen picked a shy looking little white one. He seemed to be bullied on by the other budgies in the tank but this was probably cause he was smaller and younger. He wasn’t so shy anymore when I reached my hand into the tank to try to take him out. He kept running around and slipping out of my hands every time I’d try to get him. Finally when I did get him out he slipped out of my hands again and jumped to the floor. When I picked him up off the floor he continued to bite me repeatedly. I had no idea that a little budgie that size could hurt from biting but they do it repeatedly and dig under the skin. Didn’t seem all that hand tame for a “hand raised” budgie. I think in the case of these budgies, hand raised really just means not parent raised because they were not tame at all. The “hand raised” larger parrots I’ve experienced are far tamer and friendly around people.

On the drive home we contemplated possible names for our new little feathered companion. Most of them we tried to allude to his all white feathers. You see, this little guy is a very special mutation of budgie. Normally in the wild they are green with yellow but there are special captive bred mutations. However, he is not an albino which is evident by his dark eyes. Instead he is a dark eyed clear which is a blue and white budgie minus all the blue. We ended up on the name Duke, alluding to his all white feathers carrying a regal sort of nature and also the Genesis album, Duke.

Almost immediately she fell in love with Duke whom I affectionately refer to as “a little mouse with wings.” Taming and training began from the first day home. We wanted him to be used to hands first and foremost because he’d have all the time in the world to get accustomed to his cage. Kathleen got to taming him and was not afraid of his bite. She was able to overcome fear of getting bit by him and nearly as quickly Duke overcame his fear of being grabbed by her. Kathleen followed up on this by teaching him his first tricks: target, turn around, jump through ring.

Finally Kathleen had something to do involving birds and felt a part of the experience. While I would spend time petting Kili, Kathleen has Duke to pet. When I train Kili, Kathleen can spend time with Duke. While I work on cleaning Kili’s cage, Kathleen cleans Duke’s, etc. So instead of having periods of time when I would be with my bird and my girlfriend alone, now we both spend time with our birds together. Bird time also became a bonding time for our relationship as well. In effect we spend more time together by spending time with our birds. It even makes mundane things like cage cleaning more fun because we can talk and spend time together in the process. Things get done this way because we watch out for each other and the birds.

Sometimes it may take getting another bird to draw someone into being involved with the whole bird owning lifestyle. It makes sacrifices for the sake of birds more reasonable as well when everyone has a bird they are responsible (like no teflon, chocolate, plants, etc). By giving someone a bird, you give them the responsibility but also the fantastic feeling of being loved by their bird.