Top 10 Reasons Parrots Are Better Than Husbands

10) Polly wants a cracker; Paul wants the whole damn buffet

9) Parrots can be trained to only talk when cued to do so

8) Parrots can actually retrieve things when asked

7) Parrots are willing to literally fly through hoops for you

6) You can lock a parrot up in a cage when you're done with him

5) Parrots don’t ask you to get them another beer while you’re up

4) Parrots will never tell you that you look fat in that dress.

3) Parrots sing like a bird. Husbands sing like a walrus in heat.

2) Parrots can crap without leaving skid marks in their drawers

1) Parrots only expect sex in the spring